Short answer
You can help your child with homework you don't understand by asking questions instead of supplying answers. Ask them to explain what the chapter says, find where the textbook covers the problem and name the exact step that is confusing. A parent's job is to guide the thinking and keep it going, not to teach the subject.
Key takeaways
- A parent does not need to know the subject to help, because good questions do most of the work.
- Asking a child to explain a chapter in their own words quickly shows which part they don't yet understand.
- The textbook is the best reference at home, because it matches what the class is being taught.
- Research on self-explanation found that students prompted to explain a text to themselves gained more understanding than students who read it twice.
- Stepping back and passing a question to the teacher is the right move when frustration is bigger than the problem.
Can you help if you don't know the subject?
Yes. Helping a child study is more like coaching than teaching: you keep them thinking, organized and calm, and the chapter supplies the content.
Research backs a lighter touch. In a review of 50 studies of parental involvement in middle school, Hill and Tyson (2009) found that most kinds of involvement were positively associated with achievement, with the exception of help with homework. Showing interest and setting up good habits matter more than knowing the answers.
Not knowing the subject can even help. A parent who already knows the method is tempted to show it, and the child watches instead of thinks. A parent who doesn't know has to ask, and the child has to explain.
What questions should you ask your child about school work?
The best questions to ask your child about school work make them do the explaining. None of these needs you to know the subject:
- "What is this chapter mostly about?"
- "Can you explain it to me as if I've never heard of it?"
- "Which part makes sense, and where does it stop making sense?"
- "Where in the textbook is this explained?"
- "Is there a worked example in the chapter like this problem?"
- "What does this word mean? Is it in the chapter's key terms?"
- "What have you tried so far?"
- "How would you check if your answer is right?"
Listen more than you talk. Often a child works out the problem halfway through explaining it.
Why does explaining it back work?
Explaining an idea in your own words forces you to connect it to what you already know, and gaps show up when the explanation stalls. Chi and colleagues (1994) asked eighth graders to explain each line of a textbook passage on the circulatory system to themselves. They gained more from it than students who read the passage twice, and those who explained the most understood it best.
An earlier study by Chi and colleagues (1989) found that stronger students generated more of these self-explanations while studying worked examples and kept better track of what they did and didn't understand. Dunlosky and colleagues (2013) rate self-explanation as promising but note that it has not yet been tested widely in classrooms. Our guide to the Feynman technique turns the same idea into a study routine.
How can you use the textbook to help your child study?
Use the textbook as the answer key for understanding, because it is what the class is taught from. You can help your child study a hard chapter by finding your way around it together:
- Read the headings first. They show how the chapter is built and where the problem sits.
- Find the key terms. Many chapters define new words in bold or in a box.
- Look for a worked example. Match the homework question to the closest one in the chapter.
- Read the figures and captions. A diagram often explains what a paragraph makes hard.
- Check the end-of-chapter summary. It names the ideas the chapter expects students to know.
Let your child do the finding while you ask where to look. Once they locate the right section, ask them to read it aloud and stop at the first sentence they can't explain. That sentence is usually where the real problem starts, and it is a far smaller problem than "I don't get any of it".
What should you say instead of giving the answer?
Answer a request for the answer with a question that moves your child one step forward. A few common moments:
| When your child says | Instead of | Try saying |
|---|---|---|
| "I don't get any of it." | Explaining the whole chapter | "Show me the last part that made sense." |
| "Just tell me the answer." | Giving the answer | "What's the first step you'd try?" |
| "Is this right?" | "Yes" or "No" | "How could you check it using the chapter?" |
| "I've read it three times." | "Read it again." | "Close the book and tell me what you remember." |
| "I got it wrong again." | Fixing it for them | "Where did your answer and the example split?" |
| "This is pointless." | Arguing about it | "Let's do one more, then take a break." |
None of these replies needs subject knowledge. Each one hands the next move back to your child, which keeps the thinking with them. If a reply doesn't help after a couple of tries, that is a good sign the question belongs with the teacher.
When should you step back?
Step back when frustration is bigger than the problem, or when you have both read the section and are still stuck. Pushing on late at night rarely helps, and a tired argument about fractions can make the next session harder.
Help your child write down exactly where they got stuck and take that question to the teacher. If schoolwork is regularly causing real distress, talk to the teacher or school counselor.
Can an AI tutor help with a hard chapter?
An AI tutor can explain a chapter when no one at home can, as long as it explains rather than answers. StudyMate AI, our product, lets a student chat with their textbook: it answers from the chapter they have open and cites the page, so you can check an explanation against the book without knowing the subject. Follow-ups such as "Explain it simpler" and "Quiz me on this" keep it going.
Our guide to using AI for homework without cheating covers where the line sits, and our For Parents guides cover more ways to help at home.
Frequently Asked Questions
What if I explain it differently from the teacher?
Go with the textbook's method. Different methods can confuse a child, especially in math, so ask your child to show you how the chapter or teacher does it and follow that.
Should I learn the topic myself first?
It isn't necessary. Skimming the chapter's headings and key terms for a few minutes helps you ask better questions, but your child should do the explaining.
How long should I help before stepping back?
Stop when the session stops moving forward. If you have both read the section and tried a worked example and are still stuck, write down the question for the teacher and move on.
What if my child refuses help?
Offer to listen instead of help. Ask them to explain what they are working on, and let them decide whether they want questions. Many children accept an audience more readily than a helper.
Sources
- 1Chi, De Leeuw, Chiu & LaVancher, Cognitive Science (1994). Eliciting Self-Explanations Improves Understanding
- 2Chi, Bassok, Lewis, Reimann & Glaser, Cognitive Science (1989). Self-Explanations: How Students Study and Use Examples in Learning to Solve Problems
- 3Dunlosky, Rawson, Marsh, Nathan & Willingham, Psychological Science in the Public Interest (2013). Improving Students' Learning With Effective Learning Techniques
- 4Hill & Tyson, Developmental Psychology (2009). Parental involvement in middle school: A meta-analytic assessment of the strategies that promote achievement